Since ancient times, women have used ceremony and ritual to express the inner parts of themselves, to draw in their deepest desires, or to celebrate a rising or transformation or passage.

Ceremony provides us with the opportunity to honor, reflect, and celebrate the cycles and events of life that hold meaning for us—it connects us to something greater than ourselves. We’ve gathered around fires, altars, or under a full moon. We’ve called on the elements and forces of mother nature to help bring about a deep desire or assist us in creating something new in our lives. Women often use ceremonies and rituals to help us through events in our lives, such as transitioning into new life phases (beginning menstruation, becoming a mother, starting menopause, etc.), honoring someone who has passed, or manifesting a deep desire.  On a simpler level, our daily rituals can bring us a sense of inner peace. Here are some examples of rituals you may already be performing in your everyday life:

• An evening bubble bath that involves a candle, a good book or music, a crystal or bath bomb.
• Drinking coffee every morning, writing in a gratitude journal, or performing silent contemplation
• Meditation that involves a designated space, a meditation pillow, a candle, altar, journal, guided visualization from an app, etc.
• A prayer before bed

“Ceremonies connect us to ourselves and to each other, and one of the best ways to do that is by creating shared, sensory experiences that tell a story.” -BeCeremonial.com

A well-planned ritual can invoke and inspire all of our senses. Below are some additional ways you might want to consider to incorporate ceremony into your life and the life of your daughter.

• Help her honor and love her body. Have a spa day and incorporate dialogue about your intention to honor yourselves and your body. Whether it’s a facial, a mani/pedi, or a massage, set the intention that the experience is about honoring yourself and treating yourself to some body love. Doing this at home is great, too! You can do charcoal masks with cucumber eye patches or the prepackaged masks that you just place on your face—Target has great ones for kids.

• Celebrate her passage into womanhood, her first menstruation. Help her honor herself and her body and this rite of passage with intention, awareness, and deliberate celebration. I could see some girls being embarrassed by this milestone in their lives and not want to have a ceremony or ritual to celebrate it. But mamas, this is a narrative derived from patriarchy, that deserves to be changed. It’s time to bring the celebration of the feminine back into the mainstream. Even something simple can send the message that becoming a woman is beautiful and honorable and worth celebrating. Have a little party where you drink red juice from fancy glasses. Give her a token gift, such as a piece of jewelry she can hold onto, 14K gold earrings, or a special necklace or bracelet. If she’s not into jewelry (mine wasn’t) you could give her a special journal and beautiful pen, or a scrapbook of her with a photo from each year of her life.  If your girl is into the whole idea of ceremony and ritual, go big! Involve the moon, crystals, a fire pit or a campfire. Burn sage, write your wishes and intention on the moon, or get wish paper and release it into the sky.

• Honor your mother line together. It is incredibly valuable for your daughter to have an awareness and understanding of her mother line: you, her grandmother, and her great grandmother. Going back two generations can be enough, or you can go back as far as you wish. Ancestry.com is my idea of a good time! You can find out so much by putting in just a few details. This could be an activity you do together. It’s like an online treasure hunt, as you search together about your ancestors. Make a piece of art with pictures you draw or paste actual photos of the women. Next to each photo or drawing or name of the woman, list a few things that were her gifts. Strength, endurance, love—what made this woman amazing or even just capable? Did she break any barriers? How was she a little nonconforming? What she did she contribute to her community? What were her hobbies, her interests, or her skills? The questions you can tackle are endless. Even if it’s just you, her, and her grandmother, this is a beautiful way to remind her there is a forcefield of women standing behind her and rooting her on in life. Mother’s Day, birthdays, National Day of the Girl, or other holidays are all times when you can display your ancestry art or chart, light a candle, place a vase of flowers or other meaningful object to honor the legacy of women who came before.

If these ideas don’t resonate with you, feel free to get creative! However you are able to incorporate ceremony and ritual into your journey with your daughter, it is sure to be a magical experience.